Minding the Generation Gap

(UPDATE: BusinessWeek's Blogspotting reports that colleges are starting to take attendance - and report back on parents on missed classes.)

Over the past weekend I was catching up on a stack of alumni magazines from Duke and was struck by a particular article.  No, it wasn't another take on the Lacrosse case or yet another story of binge drinking that got my attention.  Rather, it was an article on the growing trend of "Helicopter Parents".  In my view, Helicopter Parenting is a bigger on campus threat than anything previous generations have faced - because it prevents kids from finally growing up.

The article in Duke Magazine is a must read for anyone who either went to college or who has kids that will someday attend.  Helicopter Parents refers to a growing trend of families who fail to cut the cord when children go to college - or even into first jobs.  The trend comes along with smaller families and a general, growing focus on ensuring that children have the best of everything.  At young ages we see safety helmets and play dates, but here's a sampling of chilling stories:

• A father who flew in to meet with the Dean of Student Affairs because his daughter vented that her roommate partied too much.
• A professor who discovered that many of her students still had their parents read over their papers.
• A mother who repeatedly called to complain about the cleanliness of her child's bathroom.

For those of us who were dumped at the freshman dorm and expected to start growing up, this trend is disturbing.  But it also seems dangerous to the development and maturity of young adults.  In growing up, challenge leads to improvement.  We all needed to be left alone to figure the world out for ourselves.  College is already a pretty safe environment to grow up in.  There's Resident Advisers, Campus Police, and Meal Plans to keep you reasonable safe and well-fed.  We learned how to deal with tough professors and jerk roommates, both of which parallel realities in the working world.

As in my recent post on parents who over-praise their kids, Helicopter Parents, are hurting their children's development by protecting them from life's challenges.   Another recent study suggests that kids today are more selfish than ever.  If every kid is special and everyone gets a trophy, is anyone really motivated to achieve?

Unfortunately, their lack of challenge will not only hurt their ultimate chances for success, but it weakens our economy.  While poor kids in China, Poland and India are fighting for new opportunities to learn and compete in the world market, our next generation seems to expect success to come to them without the tireless effort and pain of failure.

I'm hoping that the Helicopter Parents are merely a noisy minority on the American stage.  If not, hopefully my fellow parents of today's preschoolers take note and let their kids be free to fail.